If you have ever had the misfortune of sitting beside a dirty conductor in those yellow and black coloured buses popularly known as danfo  in Lagos on your way back from work on a sunny afternoon, then you can relate perfectly! 

Every single time I have to go back home either on my way back from school or a special occasion and I have to ‘jump bus’,  my strength just evaporates! You cannot just enter a bus and relax in peace until you get to your bus stop. Rather, your nostrils will have to undergo the battle of survival trying to figure out where to get fresh air. The whole bus will just keep smelling like a mixture of rotten cheese and egg.

As if that is not enough, some dirty conductors will open their wide mouths to reveal their full set of butter yellow plague infected teeth releasing such stench capable of warding of mosquitoes on the bus! If only the government collected tax for body and mouth odours, the revenue generated would have been awesome. It will be cool though; it has even happened once in Bangkok when a bus driver and his conductor were suspended from work and fined 1,000 baht each cause their body odours chased out a passenger from their vehicle! Amazing.

I don’t think you even understand the extent of my displeasure. See, if Nigeria should go to war, we would easily win using our natural chemical weapons that emanate from our armpits! At least, this is one thing we cannot blame the government for but for some reason, our olfactory lobes have got so used to the smell that they have adapted. Pathetic. The bottom line is that our hygiene is too poor and this can lead to depression, unnecessary anxiety, social stigmatization and even death.

In spite of everything I have said, let me categorically state that everyone has body odour, believe it or not, because everyone perspires. What matters is how you can bring it to the barest minimum (by keeping clean always) and cover-up with some nice deodorant.

Below are steps to take to ensure that you do not commit murder with your body odour:

1. Reduce sweating

Bacteria love it when you sweat so they can have a pool party on your skin especially your armpits. They breakdown sweat and in the process release smelly compounds. The more you sweat, the higher the probability of getting a body odour so avoid activities or places that make you sweat excessively.

2. Take your bath regularly

Sometimes it’s inevitable not to sweat especially after exercising or talking a long walk under the sun or some similar activity. After such, always ensure you have a bath. This removes the bacteria on your skin. Also ensure you take your bath at least once a day.

3. Wash your clothes!

This one kills me sometimes – the way some people feel very comfortable wearing dirty clothes for as long as even a week. It’s okay if you do not have enough but ensure you keep the little you have clean but it is crazy when people  just don’t try to keep their clothes clean! They perspire today, accumulate sweat for the next three days and still feel comfortable wearing same clothes the following day. Na wa o.

4. Get rid of excess fat

This one has to be sung over and over again especially to obese people. Apart from the health issues related to having excess fat, you tend to sweat more often as the body tries to burn of some fat. And then there’s extra fat, and more burning, and extra fat, and still more burning which in turn means sweating raised to the power of two. So get rid of excess fat.

Others include:

  • avoid smoking and excessive consumption of alcohol
  • use antiseptic soaps more often
  • employ the use of deodorants and other cosmetics
  • reduce over consumption of red meat, sea food, garlic, onions, spices and yoghurt.
  • Clean your pubic regions once in a while. You do not need to get rid of all the hair completely as they sure have duties to carry but the lesser the better.

For those whose body odours have gone beyond normal and cannot be treated using the traditional methods, you should consider seeing a medical personal for surgical procedures or the use of botulinum toxin as directed by an experienced dermatologist.
In conclusion, it’s not everyday we have to keep using corruption as an excuse to avoid paying attention to necessary issues like body odour. Stop being corrupt to your body and get rid of that body odour.

Don’t forget to share! Your next-door neighbor or lab partner might need this seriously.



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